As the end of the year draws near and so I face the 2016 final curtain, I’ve lived a year that’s full I’ve travelled each and every highway, and more much more than this – I definitely did it my way…
like most people I allow myself the opportunity to sit and reflect on what has been my 2016. The good, the bad, the ugly and most of all what have I learned to take forward into 2017 to make it my best year yet. It is important to reflect on the year – the good, the bad, the ugly, it’s cathartic and psychologically like clearing out an overfilled dusty cupboard before filling it again with new things.
This year I have travelled – a lot. Bahamas in January and then Florida for 10 weeks, then Augusta Georgia and back to The Bahamas in April, Spain in June, back to Florida in August right through until December, another little pit stop in Spain and back to the UK just over a week ago.
I have fallen in love – more than once…
That said, I currently do not have a significant love in my life. I fall in love every day with something that life has to offer me or show me, being a lover of life can sometimes lead to disappointment, I have learned to accept this, which in turn is liberating, not everyone loves life or people the same way as I do, and thats ok.
My soul met another soul it already knew – this was a powerful and emotional happening, and if you haven’t ever encountered it – much like having a 6th sense then you can never understand quite what it feels like, it’s euphoric and terrifying all at the same time. I have never felt anything quite so powerful or beautiful. It has changed the way I feel , changed my connections with people – I have also come to understand just how important “Connection” is to me.
I had it pointed out to me more this year than ever in many lessons that people do not always mean what they say, even if at the time it was said with the best intention and genuinely believed by the person that delivered it verbally, they can still go on to prove that they didn’t mean it – after all actions really do speak louder than words.
On the flip side of that I was re alerted to my distaste for verbal communication of the negative kind, during a break up. I am still and will always be very passionate about the exchange of words good or bad, and words that have the power to hurt and insult leave tiny little scars, not necessarily on me because I can choose to not listen but on the person that delivered them, each time you talk to them or see them you are reminded of their behaviour and the things they have unkindly said to you.
I have lost a job and a future that I thought I had planned……..
Somewhere in all of that I lost my zest for life for a little while too. Having to pause and re set myself, like the midnight clock on December 31st. Starting over fresh and new. I learned that sometimes you have to fall right into that dank, dark and depressing hole to realise how much you dislike it in there, to really want to propel yourself out, once you are out you need that constant reminder of how gross it really is in there to keep you from falling back in.
I have met some truly amazing and inspirational people this year, who I am grateful to have had in my life. I have re covered some old ground – with some old people – which I have learned is not the best thing to do and that sometimes you just have to close the door, once and for all.
I have had the biggest working challenge of my life to date this year and at the same time I had lunch in the Club House at Augusta National (this is a big deal if you are a golfer) – which leads me nicely on to the fact that I tried to get started at golf and wasn’t driven enough in my job or spare time to love it. I chose to take up a dance class instead, as you know I love to dance – professional ballroom – and I loved every second of until the tuition fees came and it that came to an abrupt halt.
Money, it can be the root of all evil, that said it can give you choices – like being able to go to dance class, or enjoy a weekend with friends. I have no more money this year than I had last year although I owe a little less – well done me.
I learnt to listen – not only more to others but to myself, to really take the time to think and understand my motives, my feelings, my thoughts and not necessarily over analyse them just listen.
Trust – in myself, my journey, my instincts, my spirituality and my intuition, this is something I have listened more to, a skill I have disabled somewhere int he last couple of years, the answers are all there inside of me if I just sit still and calm enough to let them come, we are all guilty of this, of doing too much, too much distraction or being influenced by others, just last week I was told – ” I think it’s time you came back to reality, settled somewhere for a bit and stopped chasing dreams and adventures ” I decided the moment I listen to that and acknowledge it is the moment I give up on my life as I know it and life itself.
I have learned to take one day at a time, 30 seconds at a time even for life is precious and short, it is for living and for expressing gratitude for what we have even when we feel that is very little or insignificant.
So what am I telling myself as I look back one last time …. because after all you can’t walk forwards while looking backwards because you will definitely trip over…
My mantras for New Year….
- Stay true to yourself.
- Spread love and happiness even in places and around people of negativity.
- Express Gratitude and find beauty in something every single day.
- Don’t plan too far ahead, take joy in the uncertainty and adventure that is coming.
- Say what you feel and believe in it even if others don’t live by their words.
- Trust in the power of positivity the universe and your inner self.
- Make time everyday for self care.
- Live one day at a time.
- Continue to be unique.
- Answer your calling.
- Be prepared to fall and be disappointed – you cant live and love with such high expectations and such intensity and not expect that too.
- Live My Life – My Way – whatever and however that may be in 2017.